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Why make new resolutions when you haven’t let go of the old stuff? – deep self-care

Why make new resolutions when you haven’t let go of the old stuff?

By December 29, 2010 June 30th, 2017 Blog post

You must completely let go of that to which you have said “no,” so you can fully embrace that to which you have said “yes.”

If you are anything like me you quit making resolutions several turns of the wheel ago
. As I get older I try to create fewer reasons to be mad at myself, or disappointed, or non-trusting, or whatever other yucky feelings I make up.

I rarely kept new year’s resolutions anyway, so why bother? Hmm, why didn’t I keep them? Were they unrealistic? Something I thought I should be/do/have but didn’t really want? What do you think is true for you? (Or are you one of those rare people who does everything and makes all the changes you say you are going to? Or even someone never motivated enough to make resolutions?)

I think likely all of the above is true: not realistic, shoulds rather than true desires, and even just some plain old punishment for the shame we carry.

Oaxacan Coast • photo by Carolyn Ringo

And there is another main piece (probably lots) to look at here. I have found that it is difficult to change when I have so many old holding patterns in my being. There’s old grudges, losses, shame, and all kinds of feelings about ourselves and life that do not support forward movement, expansion or even much in the way of ease.

So to me, new year’s has become more about letting go and then welcoming in what wants to unfold in my evolvement. Easy to say, “let go!” But where to begin?

First take some time to check in. Use meditation, writing, dialoguing, or whatever works for you to see where you can discover a holding pattern or two. For example: I had a place that felt like a big rock right under my left ribcage. Through just sitting with it and dialoguing with it, I found it is the ungrieved loss of my new career when I got Lyme Disease a few years ago.

I want to let it go; I set the intention clearly. I sit with it, ask it what it needs, soften around it. See if I can get in the middle of it. I ask my friend to sit with me in this scary feeling. I journal about it, meditate on it, and guess what? Well it is not totally gone yet, but based on past experience, I know it’s on its way out! I feel an openness there, feeling the energy moving (it’s harder for energy to move through these blocks we put in ourselves) and am having more energy and creative ideas for my business next year than I’ve had for awhile. Yippee!

A client just did a similar process around an old grudge with her brother. He was not interested in working things out, but she did her work and low and behold she has had so many new wonderful things popping up in her life!

Some folks need to clear some of their clutter out of the way – let go. It may be physical clutter, or mind clutter. Gotta find a way to get rid of it if you want to move forward in a creative way in your life.

Many people have experienced losses that they never gave themselves time to grieve. Often we don’t even realize we need to grieve. Yet in healing those losses (such as a job, your health, a relationship) a healing and ability to let go allows room in life for new energy, even miracles.

Life is change. It’s inevitable, and most of it we have little or no control over. However, our thoughts, feelings and what we choose to focus our attention on, we do control. It is from here in fact, that we create our own world.


So what do you intend for yourself and this grand life in 2011? Great! Back up.
What might you be ready to let go of to make room for the new? Take a little time over this next holiday and see what you find. I can’t promise miracles, but I would be willing to bet on more changes by letting go than the old “resolution” thing ever produced.

I’d love to hear about your process, either in the comments below or privately on my contact page.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Carolyn Ringo

Author Carolyn Ringo

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