I was at my usually delicious “movement as medicine” class yesterday and started feeling a heaviness in my chest. Next thing I knew tears were streaming down my face. At first I tried to put a smile on my face and just enjoy the music and dancing. I was unable to hear the substitute guide but it’s such an internal experience anyway. “Oh ya,” I thought, my own experience.
I am focusing intensely right now on developing a program for women over 60 who are struggling with issues of aging. And as I suppose could be expected it is bringing up all my own shit! And as they say, “practice what you preach”, and authenticity is one of my most important values..
So I just did a few rounds of box breathing to calm my nervous system and let the feelings flow. I did experience self-compassion as soon as I let go of self-judgment. I was not judging myself for having the feelings, but for a second there I wanted my dance experience to be joyful as it most often is.
But where does joy live in my body if not right beside sorrow in my heart?
So I came home and lay in the grass in the sun for a few minutes, looking up into the trees. Then I walked barefoot in the grass for a while and decided to cut a major branch that was interfering with another tree’s growth. That effort of sawing was the final output of physical energy I needed to refocus! Now I was clear and ready to resume my work of developing my offering to other self-aware women.
We just have to remember what we know and follow our instincts with authenticity and self-love.
